Feel Better Now
Apr 21, 2020
Advice from Grandma Olive
A year after graduating from Indiana U, I remember deciding to lose the 20 extra pounds I’d gained there. I thought I’d be so much happier skinnier.
After I lost the weight, I felt accomplished but not much happier.
Still I continued to pursue goals, often overworking, thinking that obtaining them would change how I felt.
Not true.
Why didn’t I listen to my Grandmother Olive? I remember her answering my questions with, “Well, sweetheart, people are about as happy as they made up their minds to be.”
The reason we want anything is because of the way we think having it will make us feel.
So can we really feel better now? Yes, by deciding how we want to feel in advance.
We must ask ourselves, “What will be different once I’ve accomplished this goal? What will be the same as always?” Those answers will reveal how we hope to feel.
Then, ask, “What will give me the feeling I seek? Is it something outside of me that I need to accomplish, or do I believe I am capable of creating that emotion now?”
We usually think, “When I DO what must be done to HAVE it (that thing, experience or goal), THEN I will BE happier.”
DO>HAVE>BE
Instead, we are more successful starting with who we want to BE.
BE > DO >> HAVE
Who must I BE to DO the things I must do to HAVE what I seek? Imagine the future YOU doing the things a person does to have what you want. What are the thoughts and feeling driving those actions? Think and feel them now.
Choose Thoughts That Serve Us
We can feel better right now by deliberately choosing thoughts that create the feelings that inspire the actions we must take.
Feelings are created by our thoughts. To feel excited, we think thoughts that excite us. To feel happy, we think thoughts that create happiness.
It’s all in our brain.
To feel better, we find out how we are thinking and feeling now. Then we decide how we want to feel and find believable thoughts that generate that feeling.
How do we want to feel now?
Give it some thought.
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