Lynn C Davison 0:02
Hi, it's Lynn, your adulting coach.
At least 40 years ago, I remember listening to the theme song of the Partridge Family, Come on, get happy. Trouble is they never quite explained how to do that.
That's what I offer you today. These are four really easy ways to increase our happiness. And they're rooted in a lot of really good psychological research.
1 The first thing we do is we set ourselves up the night before by remembering what we did well, what went well in our day, where we used our signature strengths. Mine is Strong: I worked out. Compassionate: I had warm conversations with my family members. Active: I got what matters done. Regulated: I used the responsive structural and expansive disciplines I've been cultivating. Focused, I did my best to stay in the present moment.
Let me suggest to you that this journaling practice will make a huge difference in your level of happiness. Psychological research confirms that journaling is the best way for us to notice and change our thinking. This practice here reminds that our brain that we have done a lot of things well, and it helps override its natural tendency to find what went wrong.
2 The second thing we is in every moment that we can possibly think of it, we want to really breathe intentionally at first until this becomes automatic. We breathe in through our nose gently, calmly and quietly. The research is very clear that breathing through our nose is a much healthier way and breathing through our mouth. Yeah, down into the belley, expanding our lower ribs to make sort of a Buddha belly. It's a great image to keep in mind. And then finally breathing out through our nose again, because going in and out through our nose is definitely the best way to go. When we exhale slightly longer than we inhale, we signal to our vagus nerve that all is well. And lately I've been practicing a smile when I breathe out. I find this smiling helps my body soften I don't even notice sometimes when I'm tense during the day where my shoulders are hunched or clenched. It's a good thing to smile. It reminds me a Val Chemerkovski on Dancing with the Stars, when he suggests how he keeps breathing, doing all those athletic moves, is he smiles while he's breathing. Good to know because smiling forces us to breathe through our nose.
3 The next thing we practice is having warm conversations not only with our loved ones. Also with ourselves. We start by witnessing what's happening and not deciding if it's good or bad. Just noticing accepting what is reflecting back to ourselves. Is this the emotion and the soundbite. Just that little bit, huh? You seem you seem concerned. You seem uptight. Not deciding if it's good or bad, just noticing, accepting, what is reflecting back to ourselves. Is this the emotion and the soundbite? Just that little bit? You seem. You seem concerned. You seem uptight, you seem irritated? Because we just add a short soundbite that tells us what we're noticing in our life. Good to know. And when we practice that with ourselves, it's so much easier to practice with our loved ones.
And the last part is to mentor ourselves. What would the kindest, most gentle most invested person say to us in this situation? What would our best mentor say and can we become our best mentor? I think using these practices, we will get closer every day.
We want to stay away from the jabs that judging the abandonment, the shaming and blaming. In this shaming. We can feel ourselves constrict when we do that, and we notice it in our loved ones as well.
So we first we noticed what what well the night before. Second, we breathed in with the Buddha breath and smiled. Third, we did our warm conversations both inside and outside.
4 The fourth thing that we do is the three-two-one Power Up. This is so important. Again, we do this at night or at the end of our day. I love to do it at five o'clock when I'm shutting my office down. This is what we when we reemphasize what we want.
- The Want: What do we want in our life?
- What are the three reasons why we want it?
- What are the two reasons why we have to get it?
- what's the one thing we're going to do tomorrow. The one thing that we're going to be sure to do tomorrow. In my case, it's I follow my morning, my daytime and my evening protocols. That's the one thing I know I can do.
-Then we listen to our brain for the possible sabotaging thoughts that are going to come up and think in advance of the helpful thoughts that we're going to answer. Those sabotaging thoughts are how we respond to the challenges in our life, and anticipate them so that we're ready for them are huge and how well we believe we're doing which contributes to our happiness.
Remembering, of course, that every step of progress matters. To try and install all four of these habits in one day is a bit ambitious. But we can do one new habit each week. Because every step matters, each new habit that we install matters in our happiness overall. Our degree of self independence, self leadership, and how well we're going to execute on those ambitions that keep driving us forward.
Please join me in the art of adulting where we not only increase independence but also happiness. Bye for now.
